HRH(His raging hotness) is out of town. In the Land of Oz to be precise. I used to hate it when HRH went away.I would be riddled with paranoia and deep seated fears. So when HRH used to go away, I would have to put my emergency response plan into action.
– Sleep with a can of Mortein under my pillow and a big stick by the bed. Mortein to spray in intruders eyes. Blind them, then hit them with the big stick, then run screaming for the front road.
– Sleep with all the children camped out in my bedroom and the door locked so that I could keep them all safe (and to keep me company)
But times have changed. I’m a big girl now ( literally and figuratively)So now, when HRH is gone, I am like Maria running through flower covered fields with a glorious golden glow and a ridiculous smile on my face…the hills are alive, with the sound of music! Because –
1. I don’t have to cook. A single thing. We can eat cereal – three times a day. Or just open a can of tuna – three times a day. And nobody cares if its nutritionally balanced.
2. I can sit up half the night reading. Reading. Reading. Without anyone reminding me that I have children to drive to school the next morning. Or a 5k to run for training. Or work to do in the office. Nope. I can be dreadfully irresponsible and read a trashy romance without anybody getting annoyed.
3. I can drive through town and then inextricably pull over, go into the Bodyshop and buy a new outfit….just because I felt like it. No reason. Just because its Thursday and I wanted to.
4. I can go to Mcdonalds with the only two friends I have in the world at 9pm. Where we will eat fries with our chocolate sundaes. And talk for three hours. About deeply meaningful things. Like what annoys us about our significant others. Or what to do with teenagers who think they have all the answers to lifes difficult questions.
5. If there’s a good movie on in town, I can pull all the kids out of school so we can go on an ‘educational field trip’. Without HRH lecturing me about how that will impact on their lifelong career goals. Or calculating how much we are wasting in school fees.
But the best part about HRH going away. Is that it gives one the chance to actually miss him. And appreciate him a little more. Especially when he comes home with the latest Twilight installment. Everyone sing with me now…the hills are alive!