Why do so many women love Edward Cullen so much? I have spent
many hours a couple of fleeting minutes musing upon this question and come up with one undeniable conclusion.
Because Edward Cullen is really – a WOMAN in disguise. Consider the evidence…
1. He always wants to know what you’re thinking. And it drives him nuts when he can’t read your mind. ( Hello, is this not every womans constant whine? “Tell me what you’re thinking honey.” Nothing. “Nothing? How can you think of NOTHING? You just dont want to share what you’re thinking. You dont really love me do you? If you did, you would tell me what you’re blaady well thinking!” Unfortunate man then shoots himself in frustration because he really was thinking of nothing.)
2. He has impeccable manners. (Sorry, to be sexist, but there’s a higher percentage of females who have beautiful manners than males. It’s just a fact. So there.)
3. He always notices what you smell like.
4. He can function on no sleep.
5. He’s always telling you what to do,how to drive, what to drive, what to eat,where to go,what college to apply to…Because of course he knows WAAAAY better than you whats best for you. (Control freak, bossy wife/mother/girlfriend/lover alert)
6. He’s beautiful and sparkly.(Bling bling!)
7.He’s incredibly patient with infants – I mean PEOPLE who are yeeeeears younger than he is. Even though they are incredibly derrrr and tiresome. And dont know anywhere near as much as he does. About anything. Still patient. Still loves them. (Hello, can that Bella girl be any dumber or any more tiresome?)
8. He likes to hang out in meadows full of flowers. Just because. (Since when did you meet a guy who liked to do that?)
9. His bedroom is really clean and tidy. His music is organized and structured.
10. He prepares the food (think chase and kill deer). Then serves it to the person he loves and waits patiently till they’re done.
11. He spends most of his time analyzing everything. Every word. Every possible thought. Every action. Every possible word and action.
12. He is tireless. He kills bad vampires AND cleans up the mess.
But if you cant accept any of this as evidence, Im willing to concede that the reason why so many women love Edward Cullen – is just because he’s hot. (In a very cold-skinned vampire kinda way.)