family conflict, sisters


Today i caught the Princess crying in her room. Why? Because her big sister told her she was fat. And that the dress she was wearing for church was really ugly. Huh?!

After severely straining my UN Peacekeeper skills – i was able to successfully soothe the conflict and heal the troubled waters. But the spat got me thinking. About sisters. Do YOU have any? And if you do, can you stand them?

I am blessed to be one of four sisters. Someone asked me the other day – “Which sibling are you closest to?” And I couldnt answer. Because at different times of the day, the week, the year, I will be closest to different sisters. Closest to killing one of them. Closest to sharing my Lotto winnings with one of them. Closest to leaving one of them my Twilight collection in my will. Closest to instructing my children NOT to let one of them in the house (And if SHE calls? Im very busy. Ya hear me? Busy. Cutting my toenails, watching weeds grow in the backyard, whatever. Just busy.) It can be difficult for HRH to keep up with all of our sister-shenanigans. I can go months without speaking to one sister, block her from my email and FB. To having cozy two hr lunches with her and comparing lingerie purchases. Yes me and my sisters are a very tempestuous bunch.

We argue over who’s my Dad’s favourite. (Which is a no-brainer..BECAUSE IT’S ME!) We disagree over who deserves the most sympathy for enduring the most meanness from our mother. (Another no-brainer…ME! I get a boyfriend and my mother disowns me. My little sister ‘lives in sin’ with her man and my mum sends her co-ordinated bed sheets from Plantation House. Huh?) We get annoyed when Big Sister is bossy. And Little Sister is too mouthy. And Middle Sister is too emotional. And okay, sometimes I can drive my sisters nuts with a few mild failings of my own that are just too small to even mention in this blog…

But like i explained to the Princess and her meannie Big sister. Sisters can be a lot of things, but the undeniable truth is that they are always THERE. Even if you’re ignoring them, they’re still out there somewhere in the universe, your sister. And if you believe like I do, that families are stuck with each other even when you’re dead – then your sister is still going to be your sister an eternity from now. Even if you cant stand them today. You cant ever get rid of them. So you may as well find a way to make sisterhood work.

Which is why – when Im a first time mother having an emergency C-section in the dead of night, at only 7 months – who gets on the first plane to be by my side when i wake up? My Big Sister. ( And then does the same thing again for the 2nd and 3rd nightmare c-sections…)

And when I’m about to launch my first book and dont have a clue how to crawl out of my Hermit Cave into the sunlight, who takes over as my publicist and PR genius? Scores me media interviews and shows me how to deal with rude journalists? My Next Little Sister.

And when Im staggering down the road doing my last 5K of a 100k relay and wishing I could die – who runs with me, gives me ice water, and tells me ‘Dont fall over now, people are looking at you! Youre almost there. Just hang on and you can puke at the next corner dammnit!’ My Littlest Little Sister.

No other women in my life – have hurt me as badly as my own sisters have. No other women quite know how. No other women know the right buttons to push, the tenderest spots to kick, or the words that will draw the most blood. But no other women have strengthened me as much. Walked with me through my darkest days. Or given me more laughter and encouragement. I am so grateful for the different gifts that each sister enriches my life with. I hope that they can each say the same of me.

Because they are my sisters. And even if I dont want to be in the same room with them sometimes.

I love them.

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