My second column in the Samoa Observer went live while I was there for the book launch…
As a Samoan woman, I know it can be difficult for us to talk with our parents, children, friends and our partners about certain things – things like intimacy, emotions and relationships. But the world is talking about them all around us and we are bombarded with messages about sex every day in our media, music, Facebook, TV and more.
Who’s teaching YOUR kids about sex? If your horrified answer, is “not me!” then be afraid.
Be very afraid. Because your kid could very well be learning about sexuality from such stellar examples as Robin Thicke (a sleazy singer who gyrates to songs about the dangerous and illegal thrill of crossing ‘Blurred Lines’ of sexual consent) and Miley Cyrus (a once cute kid, Hannah Montana, who now wears a flesh-colored bikini so she can mime sexual acts on stage with the aforementioned much older and much-married singer. Because she’s just so cool and every girl should be like her.)
Yes, the American Video Music Awards are just screaming with many wonderful examples of sexual behaviour which our youth can emulate. Oh joy.
You can read the rest at the online edition of the Samoa Observer, click on this link:
Lani Wendt Young 
Great article and great points. Coming from an American, let me tell you, many of us here are fit to be tied by all this nonsense and downright lewdness in the media’s depiction of tacitly acceptable behavior – and those that raise an alarm and complain are considered prudes, Christian fundamentalist extremist, or right-wing conservatives entrenched in the 50’s style morality. None of which have to apply – it’s just deplorable and more incentive for susceptible young minds to say to themselves, “We’ll, so-and-so does it, and look at all the attention THEY get!” Sucks!
I loved the principled behavior of Daniel in honoring his love for Leila, how he treated her with respect in his decision, as a young man, to WAIT until they were wed before consummating that love. Is that usual or reality? Here in the USA, I’d say no for a large part; thus, conversely, the growing rate of out of wedlock babies and the precarious position this puts them, their mothers, and sometimes their fathers in as well…though the burden more times than not falls on the mothers.
I perceive that in Samoa, there is often large and close extended family ties… I hope this provides a safety net there for young ones who slip on the precarious slope of sexuality. Here, our families are often smaller, not so interconnected with supportive extended families over all, like we used to be (although not all, of course!); many times a single mom is out there on her own. The “old fashioned” ways had some definite benefits, even if a bit constrictive at times.
Great read! I’ve been thinking a lot about this particular topic since my 4 and a half yr old daughter is getting older and starting to ask rather bold questions about the female anatomy etc.. In fact, i just recently made the conscious decision to start telling her the correct names for private female body parts to as you say in your article..- “start talking to them with openness and honesty when they’re little” and begin that conversation. I myself identify as belonging to a generation of ‘untold’ girls who than become mothers. I don’t want my girls to be unharmed with the knowledge that was never shared with me in my adolescence. It’s a cycle and I’m trying to ensure that it stops with me. -subURBANmumma
*unarmed (autocorrect)
Lani…the world spins, I think in circles! I wanted to be a psychiatrist when I grow up! I always wondered why samoa don’t have any! I needed someone to talk to, someone to tell at a young age .in the end I told my mother. .it almost killed her and I mean literally. .by her family when she addressed the issue. .as I was her only daughter you can just imagine how my mother felt. I was scared and confused I thank the lord for his courage and strength that he has given me to move forward and be stronger. I do not wish this upon my daughter as I swear I will cut whomevers balls off and poke their eyes out! Thank you for your voice may it be heard throughout the pacific rim to our pacific sisters, break this cycle! Don’t be afraid! Speak!