lani wendt young, marriage, samoa blog, samoa writer, samoa writing, sleepless in samoa

"Im sorry" is over-rated.

I dont know if its a man thing or what, but HRH doesnt like to say he’s sorry. He finds it difficult to VERBALIZE such an emotion. It used to drive me nuts that the man couldnt and didnt like to say the two most important words in the English language. Especially since Im an excessively verbiose woman who can wax lyrical and say ‘sorry’ using 101 different phrases…

“I’m deeply regretful…”
“I’m riddled with apologeticness…” (see, Im so good at saying sorry that i even invent NEW words to express it.)
“I’m exceedingly sorrowful…”
“Please accept my heartfelt contrition…”
“Im pleading with you to please forgive me…”
“These double-chocolate chip-cherry-almond cookies are screaming the word SORRY!”
and so on and so on…

So yes, it used to be a poisonous thorn in my heart when my spouse would not reciprocate verbally.

Until, i realized something. HRH may not like to say he’s sorry but he’s very good at showing his remorse. Doing anything and everything to make it up to me. Which sometimes, can be waaaaay better than hearing those 2 little words. Especially if there’s a long list of stuff that you really want him to get done for you.

Im ruminating on this topic because in the weekend, we had an argument. And even though i apologized for MY side of it, HRH still has yet to break the sorry silence. But over the last few days, he has –

1. Finally put up that extra washing line in the garage that I’ve been pining for. And harassing him about.
2. Taken Sade to a muddy, cold and very wet stream to do her holiday science project. Even though I said I would. And he’s gotten very muddy, cold and very wet as a result. And caught the flu.
3. Indulged my desire for some rugs for the hallway. And he’s even dallied in the possibility of that fantastic wrought iron framed mirror i REALLY need for the entranceway. I hadnt even mentioned it in weeks and yet, there he was in Warehouse, pointing out beautiful mirrors that would look perfect in my house.
4. Taken the children to the movies and left me in peace and quiet.
5. Set up the home gym so that IF I wanted to, I could work my muscles into toned deliciousness everyday. (I have yet to experience that desire, but anythings possible.)

I am convinced. If I had to choose between a few words or a whole lot of actions? Forget it. I dont want to hear “Im sorry.”

1 thought on “"Im sorry" is over-rated.”

  1. I think it is a mans thing. Because my other half is exactly like that – it will be a miracle hearing him saying those two words, but then he would go out of his way, to make me or buy food i love, or would buy me something that i have always wanted or would just be xtra nice to me till we can talk again. and yes sometimes, only the two words would make everything all better, but i guess i can do with all the making up actions too:)

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