Whats in a name? – Okay so now that I have a grandson, I’ve been told that I need to have a new name. The parents ask – What is Baby Felix gonna call you?
I say – LANI. That’s my name and that’s what he can call me.
They say – dont be ridiculous. Only palagi’s call old people by their first name!
I say – Excuse me, first of all Im not that old dammit. Second, Im the boss of my name and I can be whatever I want to be.
They say – You should choose from the usual approved grandmother names. Felix can call you Nana, grandma, Mama, Ma, granny, or how about Tina, or Kuia? Which do you want?
I say – None of them. I dont like any of those. It was hard enough getting used to you kids calling me Mum. My name is Lani.
Then I have an idea aha! – I know, Baby Felix can call me La. Short for Lani. Plus its the Samoan word for the sun, and I am sure to be a shining star in his universe. Actually make that in everyone’s universe! The sun is powerful and life-giving, majestic and fierce. Perfectly fitting for Felix’s grandmother. ☀️
I tell my family about my new name.
They hate it.
I insist. BABY FELIX WILL CALL ME La DAMMIT.
Then they say – Hey, isnt there a Teletubby called La-La??? YOU’RE SAYING YOU WANT TO BE A TELETUBBY GRANDMOTHER?!
And now, no matter how much I say that I am a glorious sun in Felix’s universe, an all powerful, #slayer force – theyre all chanting the Teletubbies theme song… Tinkie winkie, Dipsy, LaLa, Po!
This is totally not the aura Im trying to project to this newborn 😡
#FelixWorld #BadGrandmother
