Last nite I went to my first Zumba class.
You know those people who are smooth and sexy on the dancefloor? Who can execute every step with effortless grace and make it all look so incredibly easy? And who can join the instructor on the front stage and strut, shake and boogie with confidence and style?
Yeah, Im not one of those people.
But you know those people who’s idea of a great time is to dance non-stop all night (even if nobody else is on the dancefloor…) And when they dance they’re in their own world – a world where they’re JLo’s lead backup dancer OR starring in a Burlesque show with Aguilera OR outshining all the showgirls in Vegas? And so when they go to a Zumba class and the instructor breaks out some complicated steps – they dont care because they just do their own moves anyway? ( I mean heck, who needs an instructor when you’re kickin it with JLo after all?!)
Yeah Im one of THOSE people.
So I had a blast at Zumba. And while I was shakin and swayin and steppin and grindin – I had an epiphany. I should take a course and be a Zumba instructor! YES! Can you think of a more perfect profession? You get to dance like crazy, have a blast, shout at people to step this way and that, have a room full of people completely fixated on you (because theyre terrified if they blink then they’ll miss a step and be forever Lost) – all that AND you make money. Not to mention, you’ll get disgustingly fit and healthy. I could see it all…my future as a Zumba babe. I would spend my days blogging/cooking/cleaning/writing/ choreographing and shopping for new Zumba outfits. Then at night I would transform into this raging hot, confident and bootishakinlicious Zumba woman. (Okay that sounded a little R rated…but you know what i mean.)
I came home on an endorphin-fuelled high and told the Fab Five about my plan. I even busted out a few Zumba moves from my class. Yeah check this out!
They watched. They laughed. They begged me not to be a Zumba instructor. Because apparently having a mother who shakes her bootylicious self for money is uncool. Embarassing. Especially if she shakes it the way I do.
Oh Zumba you!! Why am I cursed with children who insist on stabbing a knife into the heart of all my dreams and aspirations?! I am undeterred. Guess what three things Im doing right now? (since amazing women like me are brilliant multitaskers) Watching a JLo music video, doing laundry AND designing my very own Zumba instructor outfit…Im thinking a few feathers and a little glitter wont go astray… Got to dress the part you know. Ask my dancing buddy JLo. She’ll tell you.