children, Christian Grey, clamp, Fifty Shades, parking, wheel clamp

I got Clamped. And I Didn’t like it.

Lani Young
                        What I wish I did today…

I am so mad that I could spit flames.  This morning I rushed into town to deliver a book order to a local store that stocks TELESA. I parked my car where I always do. In the Parking Lot marked PRIVATE PARKING ONLY. Because its always empty. And it’s the only parking available for miles. And because I’m only running inside the shop for five minutes. And I always park there, dammnit.
As I got out of my car, I noticed a man sitting in another car some distance away, giving me shifty eyed looks. My paranoia radar beeped. Car jacker. Mugger. Thief. Weirdo. I double checked my car was locked and ran into the store extra fast. Delivered the books. Ran out again.  What the hell?!
I had been clamped. And not in a Fifty Shades Christian Grey kinda way. In a big ole steel lock on my tires kinda way. A bright orange card told me off for parking illegally, gave me a number to call and be ready to pay $200 cash to get my car unclamped. Double dammnit. If I’d had a steel cutting blade on me I would have used it. Instead I  had to sprint up the road to withdraw cash. Then I called the number. Two seconds later, the shifty-eyed creep drove up and smiled at me. This time he was wearing a badge and carrying an official looking receipt book.  I wanted to kill him. So bad. Anger and evil outrage was at war with my deeply ingrained sense of Samoan respect and need for deference to authority and ticket issuers.
“I can’t believe you did that. You sat there and watched me park here, waited for me to go inside and then you clamped my car! That’s so…mean!”
“Ma’am I’m just doing my job.”
“But you could have been nice. You could have said, hey lady, don’t park there. Or you could have been a little more obvious about your parking official uniform instead of hiding it and pretending to just be a shifty-eyed stalker. You’re just so…MEAN!”
He shrugged. “This is how I earn my money. I work on commission.” He smiled and took his easiest two hundred dollars ever.
I ranted and raved in my car all the way home about the evils of mean jerks who work mean nasty jobs that require them to be mean jerks to nice, busy, minding-their-own-business people. People who just needed to park in a stupid empty spot for FIVE FREAKIN MINUTES. This is why my kids need to work hard at school. So they never have to cross over to the dark side of Satan and work as a wheel clamper, ripping people off. I came home. Ranted and raved at the Fab5. 
“What do we learn from this? 
Little Daughter looked bemused. “Umm, we learn that we should never park illegally in private parking spaces?”
That is SOOOOO not the answer I was looking for.
Sleepless in Samoa hit a record 30,000 visits this month. Thanks for keeping me company! If you’re looking for a Fantasy Romance read about strong, fierce and proud Pacific women – check out the free sample of TELESA:The Covenant Keeper available on Amazon.

Published by Lani Young

Lani Young is an international bestselling author of YA fantasy, contemporary romance and literary fiction. The 2018 Pacific Laureate, her work is inspired by the diverse mythology of Oceania and the richness of her cultural heritage as a Samoan / Maori woman.

19 thoughts on “I got Clamped. And I Didn’t like it.”

  1. omg i feel ya! i promised myself that one day im going to throw a rick at the ticket man driving on their motorbikes with nothing better to do but be pains in the butts to those who are too busy to read no parking!argh my thoughts exactly why are most of them pricks?! not our fault they have a crappy job!

  2. Take a key, and scratch the side of his car when hes not looking if you ever see him lurking again. It wont make your bill go away, but it'll make you feel better 🙂

  3. Little Daughter makes more sense than your first 2 commenters. Would you park "for just a minute" in a space reserved for the handucapped?

  4. LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! i have to admit, when i saw the title for this post, my mind went straight to mr. fifty shades himself. soaring as opposed to sore-ing? hahah i do feel sorry for you tho. that sucks.

  5. OMG(osh)..You are one funny woman.. I sit at work (lunch break of course) and read your blogs, and must say, its like reading a short series..lol.. Can you advise where abouts in town you parked so I can make sure I never go near it..I'll just call it Lani's Private Parking lol. By the way can you please advise the shop you delivered the books to, need to buy a copy for my friend, I refuse to let anyone borrow my book. They have to go BUY their own.

  6. Now that I've finished ranting and calmed down – yes you are absolutely right. Im so thankful for these children who continue to teach me every day (and remind me when Im being unreasonable and dishonest.) I hate to think where I'd be without them!

  7. I was counting on at least YOU getting that sly reference there Sieni, LOL. I debated using a Fifty Shades type of photo for the blogpost…but decided it was just too risque for Sleepless! For now anyway…

  8. I hated that he was so smiley and happy about catching me. But then maybe it was better than him being grumpy and mean faced? aaaargh. Im just never going to park there again…

  11. i think i would have choked on my tongue if you had. you're way too brave. i still can't add it to my GR list (even tho i've read it 3 times)

  12. Hahaha!!!! This reminds me of our recent blizzard. we searched and searched for a parking space all over the place because all the side streets near where we want to go are blocked by mountains of snow and POW there's one on the main street. It seem's someone just cleared it out. So we park and say, hmmm Lets walk down a bit to make sure we can park here. Dont want to get towed. So we walk about 50 feet. No sign! YESSSS!!!! We go inside and stay for about 45 minutes before we realize we left the gloves in the car. We walk back out and POOF! The car's gone. So sad. It seems just 15 feet from the area where we stopped looking for signs was a sign that said we parked on a snow emergency route. Those signs need to be more visible!!!Oh and the worst part about the story? When we got the car back, the gloves were missing. Thieving tow truck drivers!

  13. I'm with YOU, Lani! That was just ridiculous! If he would've waited the 5 minutes, he would've seen you come right back, too! ooooohhh, I'm sitting here, seething with and for you!

  14. I just wish people who own parking spaces for business could be a little more generous. By our video (oops, showing my age, I mean DVD) store, there are 4 spaces for the store, 2 for the AA, 2 for a lawyer and 2 for some other business … NONE of which are ever there after 6pm … why can't they be generous and put a sign saying 'you can use our parks when it's outside work hours' or something … I understand they need it and pay for the pleasure … but at 8pm on a friday night?!

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