The Hot Man was sad today. Bella had 'Fairytale Day' at school and her class was having a shared lunch. She had to dress up in her funnest fairytale clothes and take a plate of yummy treats to share with the class. The Hot Man is new to this kind of thing. It's 8am and… Continue reading How to Be a Shaamaazing Parent.
I used to say that the only way I could ever get a holiday from my Demented Domestic Goddess duties - was to get pregnant. Because then I would have to go live in New Zealand for a few months before and after the baby busted out because I have a small problem with sustaining… Continue reading When Your Husband Runs Away From You
Little Daughter's school sent home a notice, warning parents about a 'strange white male who tried to entice one of the students into his car while they were walking to school.' They advised parents and students to be extra careful. I'm not too worried because the Hot Man walks Little Daughter to and from school every… Continue reading Are You a Sicko Child-Snatcher?
Little Daughter is not so little anymore. She's ten years old and wanted to know, "When is puberty going to happen to me?...Why does it have to happen?...Do I have to use tampons cos they look nasty..." And other such curious questions.I answered her the bestest way I could. Because I'm all about openness and honesty… Continue reading Let’s Talk About Sex
A fit of fizzy flightiness overwhelmed me this weekend. I was consumed by this insane desire to be like those people who bungy jump, sky dive and buy clothes that are NOT on sale. I felt like living dangerously and walking on the wild side. Where did this strange feeling come from? Maybe it was because the week had been crazy busy - I… Continue reading A Night of Illicit Abandon – Walking on the Wild Side
A long time ago, my great-aunt used to shake her shaky fist and tell me, "You must KILL her. You must fight and work hard and next time you must KILL her. She is nothing. She is from a family of pigs. She must not beat you again." Why? Because I had placed second in… Continue reading You Must KILL Her.
There was a disco at Bella's preschool tonight. She's been super excited for days. She picked out what outfit she wanted to wear and as I helped her get dressed, she said, "I'm gonna see my boyfriend there."I'm calm, cool and collected. "Oh really? Who?" Bella fluffs up her skirt and answers, "Brayden. He's my number… Continue reading She’s Got Six Boyfriends.
Winter sales are wonderful. I bought Bella some new clothes for preschool. I love them. She doesn't. She doesn't want to wear new purple sweatpants from Cotton On Kids. With a matching hoodie top. No, she wants to keep wearing the pink pants with holes in them from TnT KidsWear that she's been wearing for… Continue reading Deceit and Dorkville
A conscience. It's that little voice that tells you when you did something wrong. When you should feel bad about it. Reminds you what you should do to fix it and make amends. A conscience is an important thing. Heck, if I didn't have one, I would be way meaner than I am now. I… Continue reading A Freakazoid Conscience Can Drive You Nuts
I suffer from a very rare disorder. I am - 'navigationally-directionally challenged.' This disorder is so rare that I can't even find it on Google yet. (I may have to start my own support group.) Anyway, this disorder means that I have trouble with directions, spatial concepts, and basic remembering where the hell I'm supposed to… Continue reading A Night From Hell.