Thirteen years ago our lastest baby was born premature, via an emergency c-section at National Womens Hospital in Auckland New Zealand. She arrived after I stayed in hospital for many weeks trying to #keepHerInUtero and growing for as long as possible. I was sick with pre-eclampsia and each day as I got more swollen and… Continue reading Bella’s World
There are some parents who have jam-packed activity schedules for their children. Every day. All the time. They go to art galleries...museums...rock climbing...harp lessons...wildlife reserves...kayaking...wine and cheese tasting...flower arranging classes...skydiving...snake pit dancing... They take them everywhere and their children have lots of fantabulously exciting and intellectually stimulating experiences. I don't actually KNOW any of these kinds… Continue reading Why I don’t take my Kids ANYWHERE
Hedgehogs live in New Zealand. I didn’t know this until I saw one creep, creep, creeping across the driveway and over the lawn. A spiky little splodge with feet. I shrieked. The hedgehog probably had a mild heart attack. (But it concealed it well and carried on about its creeping business.) The children were entranced. Bella followed… Continue reading Hedgehog Lies
Little Daughter's school sent home a notice, warning parents about a 'strange white male who tried to entice one of the students into his car while they were walking to school.' They advised parents and students to be extra careful. I'm not too worried because the Hot Man walks Little Daughter to and from school every… Continue reading Are You a Sicko Child-Snatcher?
This morning, Bella wants to know, "What's that thing called so you can stand up and pee?" She mimes standing there with an imaginary something in her hands, spraying imaginary pee everywhere in a really cool way. Explaining, "See, make it go that way. Make it go over there. Make it go over here." I… Continue reading I Want a Penis
I hated it when people assumed that because I was a full-time, stay-at-home mother - therefore I had oodles of time on my idle hands and I spent my days rolling around naked in chocolate sauce, waiting for the Hot Man to come home for lunch...surprise honey! Not. Indeed I have blogged at angst-filled length about… Continue reading HIS Turn to Roll Around Naked in Chocolate Sauce…
That I say now to my kids. With emphatic emphasis. "Get down from there. You're going to fall down, crack your head and DIE."
You know what irks me? When Big Daughter wants to buy a new book for her Kindle she is sunshine on crack. 'Hi Mum, guess what?!' (gleeful. Like she has news that will transport ME into throes of ecstasy.) Me. Suspicious. 'What?' Her. 'The latest Rick Riordan book is out! The one we've been waiting… Continue reading She’s Sunshine on Crack