samoa blog

I quit being the Master of the Birthday Party Universe

It's the Baby Demon's birthday next week. She's turning the big THIRTEEN. So in actual fact, she is not a baby. Something she's been telling me since forever. Since January she's been saying that she's BASICALLY thirteen already. At this rate, soon I will blink and she will be BASICALLY twenty-one. The child who is… Continue reading I quit being the Master of the Birthday Party Universe

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Are You a Sex Ninja?

There are those who like to boast about their sex adventurous selves. They get busy on planes, trains and buses. Skyscrapers, ski lifts and roller coasters. In stadium crowds, nightclub dancefloors, and public swimming pools. (Eww) They revel in being Sex Daredevils... 'We did it up against a tree while we were mountain hiking!' 'Oh… Continue reading Are You a Sex Ninja?

My Samoa, Uncategorized

Unforgettable Hot Nights. At the Beach.

I hate going to the beach. I love looking at the beach but despise sitting there...hanging out there...and most definitely, the mere thought of LIVING there. Why? A beach is sandy. Dirty. Hot. Sweaty. Often bug-gy. And you have to lug insane amounts of stuff to be able to subsist there for a day. Or… Continue reading Unforgettable Hot Nights. At the Beach.

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Sometimes, Samoa Sucks.

It took fourteen days for it to happen. For me to cry/freakout/meltdown/puke and rage - and ask, myself...the universe...the three legged dog on the side of the road...the uncaring blazing sun...the hot-as-hell little car with horribly useless air conditioning: WHY THE HELL DID I MOVE BACK HERE???!!! WHY DID I LEAVE MY NICE CAVE IN… Continue reading Sometimes, Samoa Sucks.

telesa series

Deep, Dark Secrets.

There's a number-tagging game happening on Facebook where you must reveal mysterious details about yourself. I got the #18 from Theresa Schubert (another superwoman mom of her own #Fab5) but because nobody cares about 18 deeply scintillating secrets about me, I’m going to do 18 #ThingsYouMayNotKnowAboutTheTelesaBooks instead. Nafanua had six children in her lifetime. One boy… Continue reading Deep, Dark Secrets.

women

Sex-Breasts VS Milk-Making Ones

In this week's Samoa Observer column, I get to talk about breasts. Yay fun! "if breastfeeding is so good for everyone involved, then why is there sometimes an air of indelicate shame and discomfort about it in the ‘modern’ palagi country I currently live in?...The reaction to a woman feeding her baby in public as opposed to… Continue reading Sex-Breasts VS Milk-Making Ones

children, Uncategorized

Why I don’t take my Kids ANYWHERE

There are some parents who have jam-packed activity schedules for their children. Every day. All the time.  They go to art galleries...museums...rock climbing...harp lessons...wildlife reserves...kayaking...wine and cheese tasting...flower arranging classes...skydiving...snake pit dancing... They take them everywhere and their children have lots of fantabulously exciting and intellectually stimulating experiences. I don't actually KNOW any of these kinds… Continue reading Why I don’t take my Kids ANYWHERE