I am blessed with a son who has exceptional social skills. He smiles, he chats, he charms, he bonds, he canoodles. He's even on a first name basis with ALL the other kids mums at his school. Thats right - i go to pick him up and women of all ages, shapes and sizes know… Continue reading Criminal Conversations
Category: children
Worst Mother of the Year Award.
Sade the super scientist...There are some days when I can nominate myself for ‘Mother of the Year Award.’ Like the time I singlehandedly prepped a space alien themed birthday party for my son. Complete with moon cake, alien face painting, wrap aunty Pele up in toilet paper ( aka a space mummy) and various other… Continue reading Worst Mother of the Year Award.
Expect the worst.
Today my mother told me I needed to ‘keep a close eye’ on my teenage son. ‘He’s going astray, he’s getting up to no good…’ How does she know this? Because at church he was walking with a slight slouch, a ‘I don’t have a crooked back Im really doing a cool as cool walk.’… Continue reading Expect the worst.
You are nobody and have nothing of importance.
My parents are going to work in a certain Pacific island nation far away for 2 years. It's a somewhat dangerous place. One where you shouldnt catch a taxi from the airport because the driver is likely to drive you to the bushes where a helpful gang will be waiting to rid you of every… Continue reading You are nobody and have nothing of importance.
A Sad tale of Swarovski crystals.
Most weeks I enjoy Sunday church. Especially now that Bella the Beast goes to her nursery class all by herself without screaming and tantrums. Sunday church is refreshing and uplifting. A tall glass of rejuvenation. Yesterday was NOT one of those Sundays. It was a disgustingly hot day. One where thick globs of humidity stuck… Continue reading A Sad tale of Swarovski crystals.
I gave you LIFE!
I am getting old. Because i find myself saying things to my children like...*"When i was young, we never had cellphones. Heck, they weren't even invented yet!" - They all look awe-struck at this announcement. Their eyes get a faraway look as they try to imagine...a world WITHOUT cellphones...and me, their mother is a prehistoric… Continue reading I gave you LIFE!
My son is a stealer.
My son is a stealer. My seven year old son is a stealer. A sticky-fingered thief. A robber. A taker of money that doesnt belong to him. And I've never had a son who's a stealer before. And I missed that chapter in the childrearing manual - the chapter with the heading 'How to raise… Continue reading My son is a stealer.
Why Opposites Attract
In Year 8 at school athletics - I was the "fastest girl in Blue House". Then we had the 100m competition and i ran reeeeeallly reeeeaaaaallly fast. And came last. Conclusion? I am not a natural born runner.In Year 9 at school - I played Wing Defence on the netball team. Or at least I… Continue reading Why Opposites Attract
I Kill You!
When I was nine years old, my little sister tried to kill me. She chased after me with the breadknife, the serrated one perfect for cutting hunks of steaming hot bread. Screaming, “Im going to kill you, I hate you, I hate you!” I locked myself in the bathroom and yelled back at her. “You… Continue reading I Kill You!
Lani Wendt Young 