This morning, Bella wants to know, "What's that thing called so you can stand up and pee?" She mimes standing there with an imaginary something in her hands, spraying imaginary pee everywhere in a really cool way. Explaining, "See, make it go that way. Make it go over there. Make it go over here." I… Continue reading I Want a Penis
Category: Samoa
Being a Parent Sucks.
Sometimes it sucks being a parent. When they're babies, you cant wait for them to get big enough to make their own food, see to their own hygiene and possibly massage your feet and tell you what a wonderful mother you are. Then they grow up and start thinking for themselves and you wish they… Continue reading Being a Parent Sucks.
HIS Turn to Roll Around Naked in Chocolate Sauce…
I hated it when people assumed that because I was a full-time, stay-at-home mother - therefore I had oodles of time on my idle hands and I spent my days rolling around naked  in chocolate sauce, waiting for the Hot Man to come home for lunch...surprise honey! Not. Indeed I have blogged at angst-filled length about… Continue reading HIS Turn to Roll Around Naked in Chocolate Sauce…
What’s More Exciting than Donuts?
I love getting email. Especially when its not spam. Not my electricity bill. Not an overdue library books notice. But nice email from really nice people who have read TELESA and actually liked it enough to write and tell me so. Emails that light up my day. Emails like that are more exciting than a… Continue reading What’s More Exciting than Donuts?
Your Fearless Delicacies
Today we celebrated Little Daughter's birthday. Eleven years ago, she joined us and almost didn't stay. The growing of Little Daughter was fraught with worry, vomit, crying, panic and blood - most of those pregnant months were spent trying to claw myself out of an abyss of depression. At six weeks, I started bleeding and… Continue reading Your Fearless Delicacies
Does your Plumbing Leak?
If you're a man - then you're not allowed to read this blog. None of my kids are allowed to read it either. If you choose to disobey this directive, then I cannot be held responsible for the feelings of horror and/or disgust that may ensue. You have been warned. Today I want to talk… Continue reading Does your Plumbing Leak?
When you’re so Pitiful that Your own Kid Tells You off.
You know what I hate the most about being an author who publishes her own books? Having to be my own publicist and promoter and network navigator. Not only does it require that I leave my cave, it also requires that I talk to strangers about my work in an assertive and confident way....which makes… Continue reading When you’re so Pitiful that Your own Kid Tells You off.
Things you should know before you date (or heaven forbid, marry) a writer
1. We go to extreme lengths to delay writing. We want you to leave us alone so we can write but then you will find us: color coding the linen cupboard, cleaning out the fridge, baking three different kinds of cookies (For the children dammit!) Emailing that longlost friend from high school that we havent spoken to… Continue reading Things you should know before you date (or heaven forbid, marry) a writer
Things My Mother Said
That only time, hard work, lots of tears, lots of laughter and lots of love could prove wrong. "Don't get married. You'll end up barefoot and pregnant, in the kitchen. And totally miserable."
Things my Mother Said
That I was happy to prove wrong. "You don't have the discipline required to finish writing a book."